OFFBRAND HUMAN
I'm just a guy with an unhealthy fascination for robots shaped like people. This is where I keep track of them.
Every robot you can actually order, with real prices and dates.
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Which humanoid robots a US consumer can actually order in 2026 (three, maybe four), what each really costs, and what "buy" actually means.
How much does a humanoid robot cost? Every one you can order today, priced and dated, from a $4,900 Unitree R1 to a $100,000 H2 Plus you can only get by email.
Every robot dog you can actually buy in 2026, in four tiers from $25 toys through the $1,600 Unitree Go2 and up, with real prices and who each one is for.
A consumer robot graveyard: every dead companion robot with its date and documented cause, and why a cloud robot only lasts as long as its vendor's funding.
Getting ElliQ free is a phone call to a state aging agency, not a store. Which six states, who qualifies, and how to check before you pay retail.
A dated, source-anchored archive of every Elon Musk humanoid robot claim since 2021, set against what Tesla Optimus actually delivered.
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Tell me which robot I should obsess over next: hello@offbrandhuman.com